Friday, 4 October 2013

Getting bogged down with basics



Being ill is not the best way of spending a Wednesday morning but seemed to of had some kind of stomach bug, the idea of being to far from a toilet kept me in the house most of the day, but Thursday I was much better, thanks for asking.

It’s not like the last time a few months back, same scenario, bad stomach regular visits to the bathroom, you know the type of thing, you spend ages in there to a point your stomach actually begins to feel better you finally emerge and walk about ten paces and quickly swing round and return to the small room once again, in my case I knew every single mark in the painted finish on the door in front of me as I spent so much time staring at it.

After about six visits in the space of an hour, it was time to leave the bathroom yet again, turned and flushed and to my horror the pan filled with water, right to the top.

You imagine the water coming up and over the edge but it didn’t it stopped just short of a murky waterfall over the edge, I watched as the water slowly subsided back to a normal level, hoping whatever caused it was gone, so flushed it again to check agggh it filled up again, same level same result slowly subsiding.

I found myself screaming at the toilet, I tend to do this, abuse inanimate objects, it usually makes me feel better, but this time I meant it” Why now of all the times to block you stupid toilet why now” You could probably add a few choice expletives to make what I said more accurate but you get the gist.

The things that go through your mind at that time beggers belief, I knew I didn’t have long before I required it’s services once again and now it’s blocked and the only one in the house, I quickly went outside to find the access cover and get my drain rods from the shed, but even after being here three years I didn’t know where the cover was, I searched and searched, nothing……

The pipe was obvious and old cast iron but there didn’t seem to be anywhere it went to other than into the concrete, now what?

I went back inside and hoped I could flush it without it filling up again, nope it was still blocked. At this point half an hour had past and was eyeing up a bucket in the yard just in case for a back up plan.

The bathroom is on the ground floor but the pipe has a vent stack pipe outside with a bend in it as it rises above the roof line, in desperation I went and got a lump hammer from the shed and hit the cast iron pipe right on top of the bend and smashed a hole, with my torch I could see right down the pipe, well actually I couldn’t because it was blocked, with my trusty drain rods and wearing lovely red rubber gloves I started rodding down the hole in the pipe, with more pushing and twisting I was getting hotter, the buckets in the yard were looking more likely, then all of a sudden the rods moved down about six inches.

After a bit more poking and prodding  I went and tried to flush again, this time the water went away as it should, the sense of relief was more than you would believe.

The pipe has since been wrapped in Gaffer tape just in case I need to do it again, I never did find an access cover and don’t think there is one.

The moral of this story is don’t take your toilet for granted, you may never know when you will need to rely on it.

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